he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
