I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
