She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize