i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
