i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
