Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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