I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
