You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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