i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I deserve to be covered in dicks
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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