I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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