I cannot find my penis.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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