Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize