i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
