He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
