He is an equal opportunity slut.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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