I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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