I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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