My first STD was from a foam party
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
please come you make the beer taste better
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
