The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
