He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
