Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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