Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
