I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Randomize