just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just had sex bonerless
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
