"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
