she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
