he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
