FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
