It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
