i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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