how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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