Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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