She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
