I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
