I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Still dying that you shit outside
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
