you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just pynch a tree in the face
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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