dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
