so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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