I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
