Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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