He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
