Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
