i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize