We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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