the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
