Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
