if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
