And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
