Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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