I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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