someone threw a dead crab at me
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
