I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
