Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
