He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This baby is an asshole
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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