Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
