We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
