You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize