As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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