i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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