I feel great
I just peed on a car
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
