No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize