I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize