I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
