Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
